Preheat oven to 350 F. Grease and flour a 3x4x12-inch loaf pan (or use a 9x9-inch square baking pan); set aside. In a mixing bowl beat butter, sugar, nutmeg, rum and salt until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Combine flour and baking powder; alternately add flour mixture and milk to creamed mixture. Pour batter into prepared pan. Bake for 30 to 35 minutes or until a wooden toothpick inserted in center of cake comes out clean. Cool cake in pan on wire rack for 10 minutes. Remove cake from pan; cool thoroughly on rack. Using a serrated knife, cut cake into 1 inch cubes.
In a heavy saucepan stir together flour, sugar, salt and 1/4 cup of the milk into a thick paste. In a separate saucepan heat remaining milk to 160 F. Stir hot milk into the flour mixture. Place over medium heat and cook, stirring constantly, until mixture almost comes to a boil. In a separate bowl beat whole eggs and egg yolks. Whisking constantly, drizzle in about 1 cup of the hot milk mixture. Return egg and milk mixture to saucepan. Cook and stir for 3 minutes more. Mixture will be very thick. Remove from heat and whisk in butter, rum and nutmeg. Transfer pudding to a bowl and place a layer of plastic wrap over the surface. Refrigerate until completely cool.
In a nonstick skillet heat the pecans until lightly toasted. Add butter, sugar, salt and nutmeg, tossing to coat. Spread nuts out on a parchment-lined baking sheet to cool.
Rum Raisins Place raisins and rum in a microwave-safe measuring cup. Microwave on high for 60 to 90 seconds or until boiling. Let stand at room temperature for 1 to 2 hours to plump raisins. Drain raisins; discard rum.
Using 8 individual parfait glasses, add 2 layers of each component in the following order: cake cubes, jam, raisins, pudding and pecans.